This is the part 2 from the "13 things your mother-in-law won't tell you".I feel guilty and sorry after reading the article. I love my mother-in-law yet I have not truly understand a mother-in-law's feeling so well. I can't read a mother-in-law's mind at all and yet I always feel frustrated at times. I feel so sorry now.
It's such a journey to get to know my extended family one by one, especially my in-law. I was hurted by a few incidents before and I distance myself from them at some point. I became a self-protected daughter-in-law in a way that I refused to take the responsibilities from my husband by giving a hand and help out more.
My married girl friends share their family stories and opinions with me. We think that women understand women more. And, we think that the generation gap is there between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. The expectation is high up there which make a daughter-in-law cannot breath well every single minute. Mother-in-law usually expect a daughter-in-law can feed her son, handle normal chores, take care of her grandchildren, whatever you name it. However, I learn from their stories and get to know some of the tips of handling mother-in-law in a better way. I found out that the best and final solution of a mother-in-law problem is LOVE HER. If I LOVE my husband, I have to LOVE my mother-in-law, and I have to LOVE whatever she's done for me and my husband. Because she LOVES us too!
However, LOVE a mother-in-law doesn't mean that a daughter-in-law must tolerate whatever the in-law have done and decided for the young couple. It must be in a fair and mutual respectation. The privacy and space has to be granted and respected. But we cannot deny the love from the in-law.
There are so many arts and theories in this topic. Many points are debatable and arguable. No one is right or wrong. Let us LOVE our mother-in-law because she said yes to his son for our marriage. And, we are blessed by her. =)
3 comments:
It's easy to say than done, I know. Haha!
Well... I guess I am a wee bit luckier as I get along really well with my MIL. One of the reason is because she doesn't get involve a lot in our life. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean she doesn't care about us, but I find Caucasian handle thier family relationship rather different than Asian. In Asian family, it's all about controlling and power, unfortunately. Sometimes, it's not even easy to deal with our own mum, not to mention our MIL... :P
Hi Eunice. i come across your blog. your topic about MIL caught my attention. How do u actualy LOVE when they invade ur family life without knowing it? If we voice out, they feel offended? I am confuse :) i enjoy reading ur blog.
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