Monday, January 24, 2011

我們去看你們了

我和 King 好久好久沒有去我們以前去的殘障孤兒院了。我們決定今年一定要去看孩子們。所以,我們在辦年貨的同一天,我們把 10 包米送過去了。這一次,是帶著 Declan 一起去。

到了門口,孩子們都一如往常得自己開們,一個接一個地來車裡辦貨。手腳靈活,每一個都知道他們應該怎麼做,不爭不搶,沒有爭先恐後,10 包米就很輕易地搬下車了。我抱著小 Declan 坐在車子里,找那幾個我熟悉的臉孔。我沒有辦法下車,Declan 在我的肩上睡著了。我只有在車裡望著他們。啊,他們都長大了!搬完了 10 包米,我們就回家了。

我在車子里跟 King 說,孩子們都長大了,你有注意到他們嗎?他說,嗯,都長大了,但是那個大頭娃娃不在了。我們都停頓了片刻。心裡是有點難過。嗯,他離開了人間之後,我們間中都沒有去看其他的孩子們。

然後,我跟老公說,等 Declan 會走路了,我們帶他來跟孩子們玩。我們的眼神都交加而明白怎麼做了。

有時候我會覺得上天很不公平。但是這所謂的不公平,確讓我明白我更加應該珍惜自己所擁有的一切。

如果你也有感覺,也去看一看這群孩子們吧!

Friday, January 14, 2011

稀有品種

昨天一位好朋友和我聊到說,若要她放棄她的事業,來個短暫的休息,在家煮飯洗衣燒菜,沒有月薪,她沒有勇氣踏出這一步。我想,要放棄高薪,來個日子大改革,生活品味的改變,真的不是那麼簡單。然而,若沒有試一試,那就只有說不完的嘮叨了。可悲的是,害怕後悔。

在繼續寫這篇文章的時候,我要鼓勵那些願意放下自己的一切,為自己的家付出所有的代價的每一位媽媽 -- 掌聲鼓勵鼓勵!!!!!啪啪啪!

我想,重點是,不管是當個事業女性,又或者是家庭主婦/媽媽,一定要是“做你最喜歡的事業”!對我來說,家人的幸福,就是我永久的事業。每一個人對生活的要求和品質都不同。而每一份事業也並不代表你的最愛,你的成長,你的身份。我身邊確有很多很多男人與女人,整天就是對自己的生活,家人,事業嘮嘮叨叨。永遠有念不完的經。我很想問一句,不喜歡,又為何留在此處繼續嘮叨?

喜歡出去工作的人有很多,喜歡呆在家裡忙的人也很多,喜歡呆在家裡而又有收入的人確很少。我佩服稀有品種。稀有品種都是很珍貴的,令人佩服的,令人愛戴的。我下定決心,要當個稀有品種,讓自己更加珍貴 -- 至少對我老公和孩子而言啦!

加油哦,Eunice 媽咪!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Colorful books of Declan




King and I have the same value of reading. Both of us think that it's way too important to read good books. We have limitation in terms of time and knowledge to our child. Hence, we believe that Declan would be able to learn more by reading -- knowledge and well manners. And, that's the main reason for book introduction to little Declan since his 2 months old.

It's okay for us if Declan doesn't understand the whole story line. We think that the colorful pages with bold words is good for this little baby's vision and imagination. At the same time, variety of vocabularies would sound more interesting to the baby. Foremost, the story time that between the parents and the baby is so fun! When we introduced Declan a book during the story time, I let him see the book cover and sign him "Book" with my words. He usually will give me a smile if I show him his favorite books. I'm more than happy to tell him all kinda stories.

We, sometimes, lie down on the bed together for story telling. Otherwise, Declan would sit up front of me. Ahhh.... Declan's small eyes would stare at the books. He would even turn his head to me and smile at me while I did the reading for him. I love the sweet moment!! And yes, baby can read! Baby does read!!

We've bought Declan a lot of books before his arrival. We chose every single books carefully for his good manners build-up. Most importantly, he'd enjoy every single story and book happily. However, we have to be a good role models if we really want Declan to love books. The whole family has a lot of books sit on the tables and bookshelves. We want to read together in near future.

Son, it's sky limit to learn things in our whole life. Daddy and mommy are not looking forward to own an academic child but a happy child. We hope you would find your direction and goal in life. But setting your own goal in life, setting your own value of life is far more important than anything else. Enjoy what you are having, appreciate what we are offering, love what you are holding on. We love you, Declan! =)

Solid food

Declan has recovered from flu, oh thank God! And so, I was excited to introduce him his first solid food which is cereal! Yay! The date was not so important but it meant so much to me -- 9th of Jan, 6 months & 3 weeks of Declan! That means Declan has entered another stage of growth! =)

Teri passed me different types of organic cereal. Oh man, they all smell so good and yummy! I hope my baby would love it. I waited for King to be home from work for video recording. We were excited for the moment!

I mixed 3 teaspoon of cereal and 1 ounce of warm water into his small bowl. I introduced Declan the cereal before his noon time meal. The little rascal was hungry for milk when I offered him first few of teaspoons of cereal. He likes it, I'd say. Not used to spoon-feed, Declan gave me a funny face. And he pushed my hand with teaspoon into his mouth by using his both hands. Awww.....!!! I love the push!! His hands and eyes are well-coordinated! This little hungry baby cried for milk before finishing his cereal, haha! And then, I offered him another 5 ounces of milk. King and I were glad that he finished everything up! Yay!!

I'm going to offer cereal once a day for a week from now on. Hopefully, he has no food allergy after a week of monitoring. I'd introduce him pumpkin, sweet potato, avocado, etc slowly. Baby Declan, mommy will make you a lot of delicious food, alright?

You are my sunshine, son! We are so proud of you! =)

Friday, January 7, 2011

Your smile bright me up!



New Year Resolution

I came across the new year resolution of a friend on Facebook this morning. Her 10 resolution made my day and she's one of my idols!! Coincidently, I came across another email which forwarded by Evelyn today. And I like the idea of the following new year resolution.

1。想辦法努力賺錢,不是如何省錢。
2。憤怒的時候,數到30,再說話。
3。喜歡的東西自己努力買,不要指望別人送。
4。少喝果汁多吃水果,少吃零食多喝水,少坐多站,少想多看,少說多做,少懷舊多憧憬。
5。永遠不會再有第二個男人像爸爸這樣愛你,所以最愛的男人當然是爸爸。
6。如果你不喜歡現在的工作,要麼辭職不幹,要麼就閉嘴不言。
7。寂寞的時候不聽慢歌,站起來做運動或找人八卦。
8。做好防曬,但記得適當的時候曬曬太陽,心情也會進行光合作用。
9。要讀好書,陶冶心情,提高品味。
10。可以淘便宜的衣服,但記得自己的品味比這個價位高。
11。護膚品雖重要,但外養不如內涵。
12。養成寫日記的習慣。
13。可以不認同,但學會尊重。
14。注重內心,但不要忽略外表。

Here are more new year resolution for myself.

15。當一個更好的女兒,太太,母親,和朋友。
16。每天都看10頁書,一個月看至少一本書。買書也要看書。
17。帶 Declan 去旅行看世界。旅途中好好教導 Declan 甚麼是生活。去兩個國家。
18。一定要做一門生意。有開始,就是接近成功的道路。
19。自己製作玩具給 Declan。
20。把 Declan 的房間給佈置和整理好。
21。把自己的健康和皮膚照顧好。當個美麗又性感的媽咪和太太。

It looks like Coby and King are not in the list, hahaha! Well well well, number 15 says it out. I gotta make all these happen before greeting year 2012! All the best, Mrs. Lau! =)

Yes, we smile together!

This is one of my favorite pictures, although it looks blurry! Yes, we smile together!!!

Play time with big daddy

King misses playing with Declan every day and night. This little fellow loves anything as long as it's new to him. A sofa pillow can make him smile in the Heaven! Daddy, thanks for coming back home after work! =)

My little model



A strong mother

Well, this is me when Declan was down with flu. Yes, it's Me! Hahaha! I've no time for dressing up. The only things that I can do is to stay healthy and be stronger physically and mentally when I've a sick baby at home. Staying hydrated and good quality of rest are two things that I must do mainly. I can't lose the battle before Declan is recovered. Be tough, mothers!! =)

My activities with baby Declan

 




It's fun to taking care of a baby at home, well, if you have him occupied. I always run out of ideas when it comes to baby activities. Here are what Declan and I do every day at home. Haha!

~ Reading is a must! We are glad that Declan loves book and reading! I hope this good habit can last him the whole life as we learn through reading besides playing.
~ Toys. Kids without toys are not kids. Whatever toys we hand out Declan, we encourage him to grap, shake, bite, smell, touch, squeeze , whatever sense you name it.
~ Music is on for hours. I turn on the musics for Declan and he has been listening to the musics since he was a fetus in my tummy.
~ Singing. Oh dear, I sing to Declan many many times a day. I feel that singing can calm Declan down and he'd smile at me back. Diaper changing, bathing, dancing, I sing to Declan.
~ Paintings. I let Declan see a few Renaissance paintings for visionary training. I hope the focusing training can help his capability in the future. Surprisingly, his favorite Renaissance painting is Mona Lisa, hahahaha! Now I know the reason of why Mona Lisa is a world famous painting! Babies love to see faces.
~ Walking in the park is our daily activity. I notice that Declan loves to be outdoor. He loves to see the cars moving, the kids playing and running around in the park, Coby running in the park with us, the trees and leaves dancing in the air, the smell of flowers and green, the birds singing! Foremost, he loves to be carried by me by using baby carrier. He's a little explorer. I told Declan, it's good to be part of the nature!
~ The squary screen. Ah ha! I hate to introduce Declan all squary screen which they are TV and computer! However, I only let Declan enjoy his only two music video cartoons -- Elmo Song & Backyardigans for 5 mins. He can only enjoy the show by watching once a week or less.
~ Flash cards. After doing some reading regarding baby brain development, I finally was convinced to try flash cards on Declan. I'm a practical person who believe in learn-through-play. No doubt, playing is still the key in our life, I let Declan to see the pictures and words by using flash cards. He flaps his hands and kicks his legs when he saw the images that he is familiar with the most. I'm amazed by his feedback.
~ Sociology, ah ha! I always introduce our friends and neighbors to Declan. Positive feedback is Declan always smile at them, although he starts having separation anxiety now. He's a contented baby -- this is what I always hear from our friends and neighbors. I hope he is and he'll.
~ Tummy time. Declan doesn't like to sleep on his tummy most of the time. But tummy time is good for his motor skill and cognitive system. So I let him on tummy during his play time everyday.
~ "What are daddy/mommy and coby doing now?". This is what King and I ask Declan every day and night. We try to explain Declan about our daily jobs and he's not alone or ignored. We want to make sure he's well-noticed and well-marked at home although we might be busy with something else when he was alone.
~ Mirroring. I love this activity with Declan! He loves to smile at himself in the mirror although he doesn't recognize himself yet. He is a shy baby, sometimes. I hope seeing himself in the mirror will be able to bring him more confidence.
~ Baby sign language. Ah.... This is something new for Declan when he just turned into 6 months old. This is really really fun, even King loves it too! We hope the sign can help him to communicate with us in near future. Persistent and patient play an important part. I need to be consistent on this.
~ We tell Declan that we love him everyday. Of course, kissing is a must, hahaha! I can't stop kissing my little baby every minute!!!!! Mothers are hopeless on this! Hehe!
~ .... There would be more and more new activities in near future. Swimming, new exploring, baby yoga, and others which I can't wait to let him try. It's really fun to have a baby at home! Babies are our best playmate!! I learn things through spending time with my baby!

Declan's first Christmas




Merry Christmas, Declan! May Santa brings you happiness and health every year! =)

First hometown trip to Declan

Yes, we were going back to Kluang and spent our quality time with the four grannies! We were glad that Declan was well-behaved in the car for hours. Son, we are so proud of you! Haha!



Get well soon, my baby!

Love from the parents is the best medicine for sick baby! Other than that, plenty of water and good quality of sleep do help a lot, too. It's time for you to build up your bullets in your immune system now, son! Get well soon, my little fighter! =)
I haven't been updating my blog for so long! I mean, it has been very long, ah hahaha! Well, I'm not a lazy butt just that I've been quite tight up with my little one. A lot of busy but fun time with little Declan!

King has back to work as usual since end of November. Hence, I've no helper at home when it comes to Declan and housework. And so, I've to adjust my time table and re-schedule everything. Thank God, everything is up to path and up to my standard -- of course, I can't be perfect, ha! Fortunately, King did help me out for the floor cleaning part, phew! This is the big thing that I hardly do nowadays.

Well, what has happened in the past 2 months? No doubt, Declan has grown up a lot amazingly! It's unbelievable! I brought him for third vaccination and my own thyroid check up in December. We enjoyed our several journeys to the hospital. I really love my baby! =)

Christmas time? Oh yay, Declan had a hectic Christmas holiday schedule with us! Our Christmas Eve dinner with David family and Kurjit family was fun and full of laughter! We love these 2 wonderful families! On Christmas day, we enjoyed our gathering time with friends. The rest of the holiday, we were out and about. My poor little Declan was down with flu after a few days. And so, I've to postpone my plan of introducing solid food to Declan. He was down on New Year -- what a good start of the year 2011! We visited doctor Khoo on 3/1, finally. Without giving Declan medicines, he fights with his own immunity. My little fighter, pls get well soon!

Now, Declan has plenty of phlegm but mild coughing. I hope he is entering the next stage of growing up now. Baby, be tough, ok? We miss the happy face of you so much! =)

We love you, Declan!

我的 Happy Baby

5 個月了,真快!這 5 個月里,Declan 從 1.7 kg 的體重慢慢伸展到接近 6 kg,我和老公的心是感動滿滿的。謝謝你的努力與合作,小寶貝!

我一直都很感激上天給我安排了一個很好的做月婆。因為有她耐心和細心的照顧與指導,我們才能比較順利地照顧小 Declan。而她時常從 Ipoh 到 KL 來,順便來探望我們和小 Declan。每次都給 Declan 帶來小禮物。我感動的心,真的是用眼淚寫下來。當中,我也深深地瞭解到,能擁有一個 full term 而又健康的 baby 是多麼幸福的事呀!當我看到那些睡在 incubator 里的 baby ,用插管來“喝”奶,用吸管來呼吸,我的心都碎了!這 5 個月來,我對數字都特別敏感 -- 小 Declan 喝了多少 ounzes 的奶啦,體重和高度增加了多少,一天當中睡了多少個小時,等等。醫生說,早產兒需要等到兩三歲才能和順產兒相提並論。我也比較放心了。

當媽媽是我夢想的事情。以前還沒結婚時會想要生 3 個,因為我喜歡小朋友熱鬧的家庭;結婚了之後,就想說生兩個吧,不多不少剛剛好,現在養孩子不容易,要好好教育孩子們更是登天呀!生了 Declan 之後,我和老公討論過之後,決定不再生了。原因是我不想要冒著生命再去所謂的搏一搏。Pre-eclampsia 和 HELLP Syndrome 真的是把我們給嚇壞了!而小 Declan 以後的夥伴生活,我們只有靠 Coby 和其他小朋友們的融入,讓他從中學習吧。

每每抱著 Declan,我對著他微笑,告訴他一定要當一個健康快樂的 baby,他都會用微笑來回應我,似懂非懂的。所以,我常常叫他 Happy Baby。能擁有一個健康快樂的寶寶,是我每天的希望。

Declan, 媽咪希望你的天空里會有很多的笑容與快樂。加油!爹地媽咪為你打氣!=)

Love our kids in a right way

This article is forwarded by a friend of mine. Something to share with all my blog readers. Cheers! =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial
position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made
the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV, that the youth's academic result is
excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate
research, never has a year he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in school?" and the
youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Is it your father pay for your school fees?" the
youth answered, my father passed away when I was one year old, it is my
mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother worked?" the youth answered,
my mother worked as cloth cleaner. The director requested the youth to
show his hand, the youth showed a pair of hand that is smooth and perfect
to the director.

The director asked, " Did you ever help your mother washed the cloth
before?" The youth answered, never, my mother always wanted me to study
and read more books, furthermore, my mother can wash cloths faster than
me.

The director said, I had a request, when you go back today, go and help to
clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that its chance of landing the job is high, when he went
back, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hand, his mother feel
strange, happy but mixed with fear, she showed her hand to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hand slowly, his tear drop down as he did
that. It is first time he found his mother's hand is so wrinkled, and
there are so many bruises in her hand. Some bruises incites pains so
strong that shiver her mother's body when cleaned with water.

This is the first time the youth realized and experienced that it is this
pair of hand that washed the cloth everyday to earn him the school fees,
the bruises in the mother's hand is the price that the mother paid for his
graduation and academic excellence and probably his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hand, the youth quietly cleaned
all remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and sons talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office

The director noticed the tear in the youth's eye, asked: " Can you tell
you what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished
cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The director asked, " please tell me your feeling."

The youth said,
Number 1, I knew what is appreciation, without my mother, there would not
the successful me today.
Number 2, I knew how to work together with my mother, then only I can
realize how difficult and tough to get something done.
Number 3, I knew the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am asking, I want to recruit a person
that can appreciate the help of other, a person that knew the suffering of
others to get thing done, and a person that would not put money as his
only goal in life to be my manager. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of
his subordinates, every employees worked diligently and in a team, the
company's result improved tremendously.


A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he did, he
developed "entitlement mentality" and always put himself first. He is
ignorance of his parent's effort. When he started work, he assumed every
people must listen to him, and when he became a manager, he would never
know how suffering his employee and always blame others. For this kind of
people, he can have good result, may be successful for a while, but
eventually would not feel sense of achievement, he will grumble and full
of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parent,
did we love the kid or destroy the kid?

You can let your kid lived in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano,
watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them
experienced it. After a meal, let them washed their plate and bowl
together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not
have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a
right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parent
are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young
person. The most important thing is your kid learn how to appreciate the
effort and experience the difficulty and learn the ability to work with
others to get thing done.

母子連心

Declan 一來到這個世界,他的路程都是有點 adventurous 的。跟著我這個媽媽,他時常在外頭跑。幸好是沒有甚麼風吹雨打的。當初在馬大醫院生了 Declan ,我住的那棟 building 是全馬大最舊的一棟,也就是說,歷史最悠久啦。所以,設施都很舊。我還記得,我第一天被轉進普通病房時,我住的那一層樓要做 floor wax。我當時就很懊惱,那藥水味很重,機器又吵,我的病床和行李又得往這裡推,那裡移(對不起,自己慢慢行走,護士小姐們都沒空)。幸好的是 Declan 是住在他的育嬰箱里,而他也不和我一起住同一層樓,所以他沒有受到影響。再說,第二天,我的冷氣機有問題--漏水!所以,我晚上睡覺的時候,都是有著冷氣機漏水的聲音相伴。而地上有塊濕布,自己得小心行走,不能滑倒。因此,每次當我看到朋友們在私人醫院生產,住的病房都是很 high class 的,我都不免會小小羨慕一下。老公安慰我說,沒事,我們先苦后甜。呵呵!只好這樣子想啦。

12 月份是我們一直往馬大醫院跑的月份。我和 Declan 的“旅程”又開始了。我們家只有一輛車子。所以,我是讓我老公開車去上班的。而我住的地方,死人頭德士司機(pardon my language)是不來你家接你的,除非你去機場。所以,我只好一大早就跟隨老公出門去醫院。我自己一個人用 baby carrier 背著 Declan 出門,這倒是頭一次。自己沒車,又帶著 stroller,是挺麻煩的。再說,要搭德士回家時,沒有人幫你抱孩子,沒有人幫你把 stroller 搬上車搬下車(德士后箱也很髒啦)。所以,baby carrier 是最適合我不過的了。再說,老外們出門都可以這樣子背 baby 上山或逛街。我也行,我鼓勵自己。就這樣,我穿得最輕便,不要打扮到美美(aunty 一點),自己的包包不拿了,就只拿 Declan 的包包。這個樣子,應該可以了吧?就這樣,睡覺前就把所有東西和文件準備好。一早醒來,動作要快。準備好了,就和 Declan 一起到醫院去了。去醫院的途中,我一直告訴 Declan,“今天陪媽咪去醫院,好嗎?就麻煩你合作了哦,ok? 幾個小時后,媽咪再帶你回家沖涼睡覺,好嗎?”。

到了醫院,我就一幅 aunty 的樣子。趕快按號碼排隊等待。唉,200 多個號碼,怎麼等???我當時快哭出來了。我的 Declan 怎麼能在醫院里陪我等上 3 個鐘啊?由於我背著 Declan 的樣子很出眾,所有的眼睛都往我這裡看。一個年紀大約 40 的男士往我這裡走來,和我瞭解狀況之後,他盡然和我交換號碼,說讓我可以比較先去付錢抽血。我看了看他的號碼,也是要等上兩個鐘。但是他的好意,我為了 Declan,我也就很不好意思地接受了。然後,他又幫我找了一個坐位,好讓我休息一下。聊著聊著,他還跟 Declan 說,媽咪很辛苦,他一定要聽話。啊,當時的我,真的是很感動!過後,我沒辦法等,只好棄權,第二天再早一點到醫院,希望不必等上幾個鐘。我帶著 Declan 上了德士回家了。

第二天,我又帶著 Declan 到醫院去。一到抽血部門,啊,又是要等 200 多個號碼,我的天呀!由於我背著 Declan 實在是太出眾了,一位年約 60 的阿伯走過來告訴我,我可以去跟付錢的部門要求有優先權。哦,帶著 baby 是有優先權的唷?我是很不好意思啦。不過,為了 Declan,我還是硬著頭皮去試看看。果然,我可以馬上付錢和抽血!啊,我真的是感動得要死!而在等待的時刻,護士小姐們都逗著 Declan 說笑。我也不那麼緊張了。呼!搞定了抽血之後,我又帶著 Declan 搭德士回家。馬來西亞的德士實在是很糟糕,又髒又臭(德士先生喜歡抽煙)。我緊緊得把 Declan 抱在懷中,內疚得要死。

一個禮拜后,我又得去醫院見醫生和看血液報告。Declan 又和我一起去醫院了。由於 Declan 很小,而他對周遭的環境很好奇,喜歡東張西望。很多人都喜歡走過來逗他玩,而他還蠻合作得會給人家一個微笑(好彩!不然會冷場,我就排寫了,呵呵!)。Aunty, uncle,護士小姐們都問我說,為甚麼帶 baby 來醫院?媽媽家婆不能幫你照顧一下你的 baby 哶?醫院是很多病毒的地方哩。 問著問著,我的內疚感又來了。不過,也幸好我還可以應付這些問題。請問,有那一位母親喜歡帶孩子來醫院的呢?如果有更好的安排,母親當然是不會讓孩子呆在醫院那麼久的。我只想說,母親們都需要更多的鼓勵,並不是責備或更多的“為甚麼”。如果你的話可以帶給一位母親鼓勵和希望,那麼你就成功了;反之,“為甚麼”只會帶給當母親的更多煩惱和虧欠。何必呢?

接下來的兩個禮拜,我和 Declan 還得去馬大醫院兩次。希望我們會有快樂的旅程。累是累了點,辛苦是難免的。但是背著 Declan,心連心得走在一起,我覺得這種情景很窩心。當 Declan 抬頭看著我時,彷彿是在告訴我,“媽咪,我喜歡你背著我一起出門”。孩子,謝謝你!=)

永遠擔憂不完的我

我對 Declan 的擔心真的是不少。自從懷了 KJ,KJ 帶給了我很多意外。我也被醫生嚇得半死。

First trimester 時,我的 nausea 不成甚麼大問題。一直到了做 blood test,要測試 KJ 的種種。成績出來的時候,醫生親自打了電話給我,親口告訴我,我有 hypothyroid。我半桶水問了醫生一些問題,要確定對 KJ 不會造成傷害,我就去見了另一位 Endocrine Specialist 再做檢查。當我被 confirmed 得了 hypothyroid 時,King 剛好在國外公幹。我就這樣自己一個人駕著車子回家,在車裡流下了眼淚。幸好被發現得早。否則,缺乏碘是會對 KJ 的腦部發育造成很大的傷害,甚至會變白癡。就這樣,我吃藥,補充身體的碘,好讓 KJ 也有足夠的碘而好好地在我的肚子里成長。

Ultrasound 是少不了的。我們每一次去照時,心情都是無比得興奮與期待。醫生當然也要 make sure KJ 的身形健全。突然有一次,醫生一邊照 KJ 的腳,然後一直看,一直看。然後,她指著 KJ 的腳,向我們解釋,甚麼是 CTEV。King 問了一些問題,我一回家就馬上上網 google check CTEV,所謂的 Club Foot. 我看了所有的照片和詳細質料,我的眼淚就不停地往下流。我說,這孩子太可憐了。後來,我們去見了另一位 Gynae,拿些 second opinion。這醫生比較樂觀,他說,如果是 CTEV 的話,也是輕微的,無需太擔憂。就這樣,我們每一次做產檢,就特別注意 KJ 腳的位置和形狀。我們也開始有心裡準備,KJ 有可能會是 CTEV 的 baby。當然,我們拼命得胎教,告訴 KJ 一定要把腳放好,有對健康的腳。

接下來,醫生每一次替我做血壓檢查,她都會提醒我,我很有可能會早產,而且是要剖腹。我說,甚麼嘛!我希望能有個 full term baby,而且我 prefer 自然產。回家后,我們天天和 KJ 說話胎教,要當一個健康寶寶,開心寶寶,當一個順產兒。而我的血壓問題,我們一直認為那應該是家族遺傳吧。就別太勞累和擔憂了。

33 week,醫生測驗了我的血壓,說我肯定會早產,而且 KJ 的體重已經沒有再增加了。她勸說我們去馬大醫院生,因為在私人醫院生個早產兒,費用是天文數字。我無比的失望,我可以不要這樣做嗎?後來,為了安全起見,也考慮到費用的問題,我們就這樣地去馬大醫院掛號。怎知道,當天去馬大醫院,我的血壓上到 160 多。馬大醫生要我馬上入院觀察。我就這樣心不幹,情不願地住在馬大醫院。我吵著要回家。醫生給我打了 Steroid 針,要確保 KJ 的呼吸系統可以早熟,我也乖乖聽話的打。

35 week,我去做產檢,私人醫生說我得馬上去馬大生孩子了。因為我的血壓高,尿蛋白高,臉部紅腫(我以為是後期水腫)。當時,護士用輪椅把我推到車旁,不讓我行走,擔心我隨時會抽筋缺氧,這種情況會對 KJ 不保。King 也被搞得很緊張,立刻把我送去了馬大醫院。在馬大時的血壓是高到 190。我跟醫生說 ,我考試都沒有這麼高分過哩!搞來搞去,我當晚就剖腹把 KJ 生下來了。當醫生把 KJ 從我的肚子里抱出來時,我沒有機會馬上看到他,就馬上被抱進育嬰箱里,這裡插管,那裡插管。而 King 也就一直看著 KJ,拍照送給我看。也確定了 KJ 沒有 CTEV。怎麼知道,KJ 出來了之後,我的血壓確沒有恢復正常。我被送回 labor room 觀察。那一晚,我聽到了超過 10 多位自然產的母親們在啊,啊,啊,痛啦,醫生們叫 lagi lagi lagi。天啊!睡了一晚,一早,我看到了一群醫生圍著我的病床。然後問了我一些身體感覺的問題,就告訴我說,我得了 HELLP Syndrome。我糊裡糊塗地,哦,哦,哦。我問了一位年紀比較大的醫生,想必他應該是在馬大最有經念和權威的一位,我會死嗎?醫生,你一定要救我,我剛生了一個可愛的 baby!幸好他很樂觀,微笑得說,我不會有事地。我也吩咐了一位年輕醫生告訴 King 我的狀況。King 回家就馬上 wikipedia HELLP Syndrome。原來我得了血崩,而且是最 critical 的 level。天呀!搞甚麼東東嘛?!然後,醫生給我輸了兩包血,把我轉到 normal ward 觀察了 10 天。真是難熬!在馬大醫院的日子,每天抽血驗血,我看到血壓機我就怕。我告訴自己,我被插管,好過 KJ 被插管。謝天謝地,KJ 健康正常,只是體型太小。就是這樣,我在醫院里“享受”了10天,而 KJ 還得住院,以至體重達到標準為止。當我們送 KJ 回到育嬰箱時,我的臉都是淚水。啊,我可憐的孩子!

生完孩子,醫生要我做另一個 blood test,要確定我有沒有 APS,另一種跟 hormone 有關的測試。而我的 thyroid 問題又多了一個。天啊,這真是一個健康的考驗!但是,我告訴我自己,最重要的是 KJ 健康無礙。

現在的每一天,我都會觀察 KJ 的一舉一動。雖然醫生們都說他很健康,很正常,但是,我還是會擔心他營養不足夠。呵呵!不管怎樣,日子還是要過下去。KJ 的每一個笑容都帶給我勇氣去面對任何問題。孩子,要當你媽還真不簡單也!哈哈哈!